A word on the tip of everyone’s tongue at the moment. Over the last few weeks I have felt as if I was being pulled along on a trolley by some unseen hand. At first it felt acceptable, but as time went on it began to feel as if I really did not have any control. Oh my! For someone who likes to know where things are going, this has been a real learning experience.
I speak not only of world events at this time, but the mirroring within my own personal life. To be completely without the steering wheel in my hands has been an uncomfortable experience. Once there is a plan in my mind, all flexibility and softness around the original idea seems to be lost. Expected outcomes and desires take over and that gentle fuzziness of what might be is taken over by a rigid disciplinarian demanding things to happen the way I want them to happen.
I am made very aware of the two parts of myself – the masculine and the feminine. The masculine in me wants to get going, grasp at opportunities and make them happen, while the feminine side says, ” Take it slowly, breathe, accept, live in the moment.” I can feel the pull towards the demanding energy, but I am learning to let go and to allow the sense of not knowing to surface. “Man plans and God laughs” are definitely the words I need to be aware of. Something greater than my small plan is out there!